More days than not, I am frustrated to my core with my lack of mobility and the long road this journey has been. I love posting cute photos, but I would feel phony if I didn’t properly represent the multi-dynamic world of recovery.
I have been blessed. I have been disappointed in myself, God, the medical experts, my leg supports, my body, name it, and I can probably tell you my three issues with it.
I put this video together and fought back so many tears because my life symbolizes “both/and.” I am both grateful and frustrated by my gains and lack of gains.
I truly understand what it means to not be listened to in the medical world. Let me be very clear: My doctors are my BFFs for life, but the medical world doesn’t only encompass your doctors when it comes to recovery.
The sadness and anger I feel in putting this video together have a large part of doing with me knowing, yes, recovery works at a pace on its own, but when it seems things aren’t put in place to properly support you, instead makes the process more arduous, you start to become apathetic, discouraged, resentful and defeated.
Lately, I have started naming out loud that the rupture occurred in minutes, while the effects are a lifetime.
However, I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I’ve been through a hell of a lot; there is no question about that. The question is, how much more are you willing to fight, Jaleesa?
Got damnit! I’m fighting, AND I’m tired, AND my foot is in pain 98% of the time, AND I don’t feel like cooking dinner because my foot hurts and I don’t like cooking—life goes on, broken or not, baby girl. Find some laughter and keep it the fuck pushing. One slow step at a time.
This is BEAUTY - FULL!! Beauty IS BOTH/AND! Life is BOTH/AND. Thank you for sharing YOU with US. I am BOTH happy for your COURAGE, SHARED BEAUTY, TENDERNESS AND praying for SWEETNESS, SOFTNESS, + REPRIEVE to return breath to your lungs and even more smiles to your heart.